By Ella Bilu I have a confession to make: I am a varsity soccer benchwarmer. I have been on varsity since my freshman year, yet in these three years, I have only started six times, my team has won only nine times (not nine times a year, but nine times in all three years), and I have spent countless minutes picking at the dead grass below the bench. Unlike many of my teammates, I do not play club soccer, so I’m not particularly frustrated with my position on the team. Instead, I like to make light of the situation.
You may be thinking, if I am so mediocre at soccer, how did I make varsity as a freshman? And I have to admit that I ask myself that same question every single time I put on my cleats with two holes that smell worse than sewage (I’m not good enough for it to warrant me buying new ones). In reality, when I first joined the team, the coach scared away so many kids that he had to take me. And now, I’m a junior, and they can’t cut a junior. At least, I hope they can’t.
This year, to get some playing time, I suited up as my team’s third goalie. Somehow, both of our goalies were concussed and had broken ankles, so I was their go-to. I only played in two games and in those games, my team tied once and lost by one goal once (that last goal rolled slowly through my legs. I cried after). After my brief stint as a goalie, I was relegated back to my position on the cold, rusty bench, where I guard dented hydro flasks and look at my teammates sympathetically when they come off the field crying with a twisted ankle. And it is in those moments that I wish I were the one with the twisted ankle because that would mean I had played.
Actually, this season, my wish to have a twisted ankle came somewhat true when I was playing my pity minutes (the five minutes I get at the end of a game when the coaches have lost all hope for winning) when I got a little too confident, started running a little to fast, and landed a little too hard on my already damaged left foot. RIP. I also somehow ruined my pinky finger this year, but that’s a little embarrassing to admit.
Despite my poor play, I captured the award of most inspirational player for the second year in a row! As the most pessimistic person on the team, I am shocked to be considered inspirational, but I’ll take any validation from my coaches that isn’t “Ella, you didn’t play horrible today!”
Next year, I plan to come back strong for my senior season! Will I be captain? No. Will I ever score a goal? Probably also, no? Will I get cut and have to play on JV? Very likely.
My stats for my three years of varsity soccer:
Games Played | 43 |
Games Started | 6 |
Time Spent on the Field | 9 hours and 32 minutes |
Time Spent on the Bench | 17 hours and 23 minutes |
Goals Scored | 0 |
Assists | 0 |
Goals Saved | 38 |
Goals Allowed | 12 |
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