By Lillian Gren
The Bard.
The theater kids who actually have rizz.
The Rogue.
You are not a werk mother slay queen the house down diva boots the likes of Black Widow who can kill a man with her bare thighs. You are four feet of condensed Bastard™ who likes to steal shiny things.
The Paladin.
WAY too overpowered with Divine Smite, but like hell I’m gonna tell you that when you just picked up my character and USED HIM LIKE A FLASH GRENADE OF GOD’S MIGHT, WHAT THE—!!!
The Wizard.
Nerd; derogatory.
The Sorcerer.
Literally a wizard but with an angsty backstory, now in two new flavors.
The Monk.
Do you??? Guys??? Actually exist???
The Fighter.
I’ve honestly never had a negative experience with a Fighter. Maybe because I literally never see them? I dunno.
The Druid.
Please stop confusing this with your fursona.
The Cleric.
UNBEARABLY pretentious.
The Ranger.
Definitely had either a Brave or Hunger Games phase as a child. Katniss Everdeen is your Roman Empire.
The Warlock.
Once again, this is just The Wizard in a different font, but with a gambling addiction.
The Barbarian.
No morals, no taste, and unfortunately I’m one of you.
The Artificer.
What a special little snowflake you are. Nice try making it work in literally ANY campaign.
The Multiclasser.
The favorite of the party and the DM’s worst nightmare. Doubly so if anything is mixed with Paladin.
The Blood Mage.
What even is this? Go homebrew somewhere else. NERD.
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