By Kaavya Shah
Pretty straightforward, so let’s get into it!
P.S I may be biased but that’s okay
TikTok
Even though TikTok is annoyingly called “the clock app” by millennials who were told they were funny once by their mom and just ran with it, if your favorite social media app is TikTok, I have a sneaky feeling you actually are funny! Congratulations, you’re better than Millennial Marge! Even though your brain is 90% brainrot and 10% actual knowledge, you’re pretty cool and most people want to be friends with you. Chances are you have a ridiculously high screen time and your words are unintelligible to the average person. Everything reminds you of something you saw on TikTok and maybe you’ve been accused of having a “TikTok music taste” because you said your favorite artist was, like, the Weeknd or something.
If you prefer Instagram over Tiktok, you’re genuinely not a real person because who prefers Instagram over TikTok? Everything I’ve ever heard about that app is something along the lines of “The layout is terrible.” or “The algorithm is terrible.” or “Everyone who comments on Instagram reels is terrible.” Are we seeing a pattern here? Instagram is for the band kids that still think that saying one meme over and over and over again is the most hilarious thing they can do. Not to pull out a tired stereotype, but if you tell me that your favorite app is Instagram, I’m just going to assume you don’t have a life. And don’t even get me started on the cringefest that is Instagram notes. They’re always something like “Two more weeks…” You do understand that no one knows what you’re talking about, right?
Call me a hypocrite, but I think that looking at pictures on Instagram and looking at pictures on Pinterest are two very different things. One definitely has more aesthetic appeal and practical use than the other. Pinterest comments are always super tame and the content is fantastic. If you tailor your Pinterest just right, it feels like someone created a perfect copy of your soul and made it into a social media app. Pinterest users are usually really nice and great people to have conversations about anything with. The one thing I will say about them is that they’re broke. The only reason they have twenty thousand different Pinterest boards is because they can’t afford any of it, or they have crazy buyer’s remorse.
Now, I’m friends with a few avid Twitter users so I won’t say too much about them. Twitter users and TikTok users are two sides of the same coin because each of them always have their own little niche reference that they’re quoting and no one knows what they’re talking about. Politics twitter is crazy, chronically online twitter is so crazy it’s inconceivable to me how anyone could come up with that kind of content, and stan Twitter is a deep, dark void on the internet. I feel like people on Twitter are always trying to post the next big tweet, but they’re just not funny enough and they end up getting two pity likes from their friends.
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